rexuality:

I need to have as much wild sex as possible so one day I can become an inappropriate old lady that blurts out things like “when I was your age I got a concussion after being bent over a desk” and then my family can be like “grandma please, you’re making easter dinner really uncomfortable” and it’ll be great

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When you and your crush touch hands and you just stand there feeling like

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shmapey:

justmyflawedlogic:

lokisgloriouspenis:

okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl

female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.

so in conclusion

if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick

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THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE POST

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pzzaplease:

juodaanviinaa:

fuzzypigs:

claybabay:

NEED MONEY FOR COLLEGE

NEED COLLEGE FOR JOB

NEED JOB FOR MONEY

WAHT

WHO THE FUCK DESIGNED THIS SYSTEM

NEED EXPERIENCE FOR JOB

NEED JOB TO GET EXPERIENCE

NEED CAR FOR JOB

NEED JOB FOR CAR

90% of my anxiety in a text post

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