:( I love you… Please love me back..

Dear babe,

Even if most of the time you can’t message me or most of the time you’re busy with work I know that I’m still in your mind. Sometimes I just end up being the biggest b-tch and end up just wanting more attention and it’s wrong. I know. But it’s hard sometimes. I know you can’t always talk to me, and that’s fine. As long as I know for a fact that you’re mine, then I’ll be fine waiting :)

I love you so much.
Always and 5evar <3 

I don’t know. There’s just something about you that I just can’t get over. There’s something about you that I just want to keep forever and never ever let go. Even though this “distance” gets the best of both of us, there’s still that wonderful feeling when we’re together in person. There’s that wonderful feeling when we talk, even when I just read your messages. There’s just something about you that I just want to keep holding on to. It’s crazy to think that even I can get this far with someone, even when I know that you’re not always going to be here physically beside me but I know you’ll always be in my heart no matter where you go. 

It’s just, that at this time.. I just feel like I’m losing everyone and everything.

I am fucking. Annoyed. As. Fuck. Like.  Why the fuck is it so fucking important if I’m a virgin or not. Seriously. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Get off my fucking dick. And mind your damn business. 

I’ve talked about me losing my virginity so many fucking times on this website. I’ve answered all there is to know about it. Seriously. It’s not even surprising for people that are not virgins. It’s so easy to lose now, it’s not even a surprise anymore. Just cause I’m seen as a “Christian girl” doesn’t mean that before I even became Christian, I didn’t go through bad times. Like honestly, I haven’t been this mad about people on tumblr for like over a year or something. Seriously, it’s not your problem if I’m a virgin or not. omfg. 

I just never thought I’d ever be so deeply in love with anyone so wonderful. Listening to your voice everynight, it leaves a soothing feeling in my heart knowing that tomorrow you’ll still be here by my side, no matter what and I love going to sleep knowing for a fact that there’s still tomorrow for us.

Babyboy, I’d never do anything to ever break that wonderful heart of yours. I’m going to take the best care of it. I’ll feed love to it, I’ll make sure it’s tough and strong, I’ll even make sure that no one will ever get the chance to hold it. Because your heart is rightfully mine now, and I’ll cherish every single second I have with it. I’ll protect it as long as I can live.

My boyfriend called crab rangoon as “crab lagoon” HAHAHAHAHAH. Oh I love him (‘: He’s such a loser. :’)

You know what, despite our arguments, despite the distance, the constant confusions, the times when we can’t really talk to eachother. I’m still so happy just being with you. Like, when I get those messages of relief where you’re happy and you’re telling me how much you love me or telling me about your day, it just… It makes my day :) It just makes me so happy inside and I love the feeling. I mean, I know I get really really down when it comes to our arguments but when it comes to our happy messages, it makes me really happy inside and a sign of relief that we’re going to be okay. And we still managed to make it through. 

I’m grateful for that. I’m so very blessed to even have you in my life and God gave me the best gift He’s ever given me. It’s hard to keep it staying perfect but it’s the most wonderful thing I have ever gotten to experience. 

I just want you to be stress free, and I keep having to end up doing that to you. Agh slakdjalsjdlaskjd. I should just have to lay it back for a bit. Give you more space :)

I think i just aim for too much attention from you. It’s like I just want to feel that you still love me alllll the time. Ugh. I know I shouldn’t. It just ruins my mood. I just have to let God take it. I can’t keep trying to control this. 

I just want you to love me the way you do. 

Even when I’m in this mood, and this weight is on my chest. It’s so hard to even laugh at anything funny. I need to know that you’re okay with me. That you’re happy with me…

My boyfriend is turning 20 in 4 months and I’m turning 18 in 7 months. 

Times is going by toooooo fassstttt. 

Tomorrow is the day I finally get to hear that wonderful voice of yours<3 Agh. Just a day, is all I need to keep my head sorted clear and straight. Because for the next however months you’ll be gone with not alot of communication, I’ll be suffering.